Just Someone I Met…
He’s an intelligent young man. School has never bothered him in any way. He doesn’t show up for weeks on end but when those exams start taking place - he passes them. You’d think he was the only one reading. He doesn’t read very much. He doesn’t do very much of that at all. His real name is a mystery to a lot of people. But he’ll tell you that his name is “Luda”
That’s what they all call him. It suits him though. It really does.
He sells drugs to anyone who wants them. Every week he’s driving in a different car. He dresses in expensive shoes and his smell is a soft - comforting essence. He has a smile that will only melt you. Making you want to smile too. His laugh is big and beautiful and so are his jokes. Forever - he is smiling. But sometimes, there is sadness shimmering behind his big brown eyes. A sadness that I try so hard to understand. I try to talk to him but he chases that bottle of vodka like it’s water. He swallows a pill or two of whatever he has and then he pulls out some rolling paper and lights what he calls “Happiness”
He laughs the loudest and he will never let you in. I guess he must be scared. Scared to get hurt - scared of being that bleeding sheep he once was. He tells me that love is fucked. A waste of time.
“You’re either having sex or you’re in love - you can’t have it both, Joy”
He takes the girls by their hand and makes them feel like they are everything. Amongst the loud music and alcohol - he’ll be whispering sweet nothings into her ear. Next - he’ll be leaving half naked - walking off into the night. That’s what he does. That’s what he’s good at. I see the pain that he tries so well to hide. He wears his mask like it is all he has. No one is getting in - he makes sure of that. He takes me by the hand and tells me a story of how love was all he had and now love was something he forgot the feeling of. He looks of into the distance questioning everything he once felt. But - now he feels nothing. Heartbreak ruined the human and created the being he is now. The one that parties the hardest and devours the virginity of the young and vulnerable. The one who doesn’t care. The one that they all fall in love with - but he knows nothing of love anymore. I kiss him on his cheek as we begin to part ways. His battered soul is all I see - his emptiness and sorrow just reminds myself of me.